Gil, Fussing
by LadyJaneStarker
Summary: During the repairs to der Kastel, Gilgamesh Wulfenbach ruminates on his/their situation


**Gil, fussing**

Where the heck did that left-leaning wrench get to? I'd swear that stuff disappears in these blasted tool chests... the Castle probably thinks it's funny to hide them.

This is stupid. Between embarrassing myself in front of Agatha and fighting with that creep, I can't concentrate.

I've been almost as sloppy as Tarvek lately.

Why do I let him get to me so much? He's a useless fop...

No, no he's not. He never was, not even back when we were kids together. He's too damn smart for his own good, or mine. Fast, too. And I should have noticed in Paris that he wasn't taking as much damage as he should have. He's just an arrogant jerk with it.

But I think he loves Agatha.

No. No, he does love her. He wanted me to cut him off the Si Vales Valeo and let him die if I couldn't support both him and Agatha.

And she wasn't even there to hear him and be impressed. Damn, you just don't give up your life like that for anybody

Yeah, well, look what he does to people he claims to care about. Killed his father, from all accounts. Turned his sister into a clank. Thoroughly messed with Violetta's head. Got Agatha infected with Lucrezia...

All right, not fair. Everything I've seen- though who can trust that- is that he's doing everything he can to help Agatha. And he may be Agatha's only hope to get RID of Lucrezia.

In his shoes, I'd have given in and snapped Lucrezia-Agatha's neck, to stop the Other.

Yup, I'm my father's son. And now I have to be grateful to Sturmvoraus that the woman I love is alive, because he is *his* father's decadent, bolluxed up, arrogant, deceitful bastard of a son, and he seems to have kowtowed to the Other to save his own life.

And probably Agatha's.

While possibly sacrificing the future of Europa for it. I think.

And that's our only hope of not having Lucrezia hovering over us for the rest of our lives.

Except that if he had TOLD my father about his family having access to Other technology...

Yeah, and why would he have told Wulfenbachs anything?

Especially after being kicked out of the Fleet?

He does think Father is just an usurper, apparently.

Not to mention Father would've leveled Sturmhalten if he'd known what was going on there. No more Sturmhalten, no more knights of Jove, no more Storm King.

I need to stop making his arguments for him.

Yeah, but what if.. what if it really was as bad as he says? Von Pinn did say something about when he first came to the school... and he says Von Pinn was - the only one who ever showed him kindness? Kindness? Von Pinn?

Do I think he was lying about that bullshit saving Violetta's life as well as his own?

People who would keep Other technology around to play with - people who raise someone as twisted as him- not people you want to have in charge of children.

Von Pinn was in charge of us, and she tore Punch and Judy to pieces in front of Agatha.

Yeah, well, they aren't dead now. At least, they weren't the last I heard. Hooray for good old Gil.

Not like it's had a long term effect on Agatha. Dammit.

I don't regret it. You can't just let people die. Let alone die horribly. Resplendent Immolation indeed.

That's twice I've saved Sturmvoraus' life. Not like he acts bloody grateful or anything.

He's smart enough to have figured out by now what happened on the airship.

Father would have killed him to shut him up. What else could I do?

He still got through the next cover story.

And then... it was like he wanted to be friends, in Paris. Except he was such a condescending toad.

While still saying Father was a corrupt, evil tyrant.

And there's no way I could have told him the truth, it would have gotten us both killed.

I was so damn lonely I took up with Zola. Not for the conversation, there.

She just seemed so … innocent. Needed protection.

Yeah, Wulfenbach. Ten points for smarts there. You saved Zola from Sturmvoraus killing her, and now she's out there with the Other in her head, too.

But why did Sturmvoraus want her dead? What else does she know that he wanted kept quiet?

Father will find out, if she's still alive.

But maybe Tarvek was just trying to save Agatha.

He never does ANYTHING for just one reason.

And even when he's blathering he's manipulating.

Works, too. Here he's got me being the big dumb lunk, and all along he's been the smart, elegant but damaged victim.

Well, except for the Prettiest Frog in the Entire Pond thing...

Sometimes he's even got me sympathetic. I'm sure he's got Agatha going.

On the other hand, she did grow up with a big dumb lunk... No, Father always said Adam was a lot smarter than Punch was portrayed, and he sure seems it.

Well, but her mother liked Father, I think. Maybe there's an inherited tendency...

Oh, great. I'm reduced to hoping that The Other liked Father more than she liked Andronicus, and subconsciously influences Agatha to like me more than Sturmvoraus?

What if Agatha loves him more?

What if I lose her to him?

What if she loves him and he doesn't really love her? I'll kill him.

What if I really have to kill him to save Europa?

What if I have to kill them both?

Keep thinking that way, Wulfenbach, and Tarvek is gonna be over here accusing you of Drama again.

Dammit.

I hate fighting with people I care about. Why can't things be simple?

Ouch. Ouch ouch ouch. What the hell is a scalpel doing in that drawer?

Well, as Father would say, if you'd been paying attention instead of chasing mimmoths, you'd have noticed it. Violetta's going to laugh her bloody ass off about this, but I need a bandage.

Dammit.


End file.
